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Showing posts from May, 2011

Moving On

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I miss my friend. 
I miss feeling like I have someone who I can tell anything to and they will listen, interested. I feel alone. 
As I have moved on with my life, growing, changing and stretching myself to be the best I can be, the clearest I can be, I find myself alone. 
Submerged deep within my issues there was always someone to drown sorrows with, to get wasted with, to distract myself with. Yet it seems quite lonely here, when I have released so much pain, pushing out my boundaries expanding. 
I am trying to let go of the past, perhaps I’m succeeding far better than I realized. I am different, I have changed and as a result what once fit does no longer. 
I am grieving for my loss. In shifting to a better place within myself I have had to let go of the one I was closest to. This is painful. I am hurting. 
I wish I had my friend again.

Awakening

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I am in the middle of an awakening. This is simultaneously the most amazing and exhausting experience I have had. The superficial details of who I used to be have been dissolving rapidly as I delve deeper into self. Unravelling issues, barriers and thoughts I once identified with.
I have moments where I catch a glimpse of the cosmic connection, where I feel the flow of universal light and love, but mostly at this stage I feel exhausted and overwhelmed. Each time I make progress, discover, integrate and move forward on an issue another challenge immediately arises.
I don’t know where all this is taking me. I don’t know who or what I will be at the end, if there is one. All I know is that I am being cleansed of all the old beliefs that once constrained me. 


Grey Days

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What's in a name?

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I had never looked into the words instinctive transmission, the title of my blog. It was just the title that came to me in 2005 when I wrote my first blog. Six years later the name still fits.