Showing posts from 2009

I am not in a dark place.

I am not in a dark place.  I am not twisted with anguish or pain. These places I have been but I have left.
There is no hurt holding me back. No burning issue fueling me. No wrong I must see righted.

I understand these things but they no longer apply. I am free of my own judgement. Free of sharp words and biting mind.

It is a strange place to be, quiet without the constant noise. Out of habit my mind sometimes grasps for a problem, trouble, but there is none. I am content and most things I can accept or I can change.

The wind has passed, the water is still and I can see reflections I’ve never seen before.

Break up

I broke up a relationship that needed to end.  A friend of mine said something to me a couple of months back that really caught in my mind like a barb. Is it not wrong to be with someone when you already know how it will end and that you will be the one to end it?

Just a matter of time in a comfortable limbo, where neither person is gaining anything or growing. You are just there because you are. An old routine you haven't evaluated in a long time because you don't want to think about all the holes and frayed edges.
I really did try to let love conquer all.  I told myself that maybe this is what a long term relationship was. I lied to myself saying maybe this is the best I'll ever get and that it was enough for me. But none of these things were true and deep down I knew it. I was getting tired of trying so hard.

So I did what I do when I have reflected, when I can clearly see that something is wrong. I took action. I broke the seal. I removed myself from my …