At somepoint I realised that life is hard. Life feels shit sometimes. That we are as a species are probably screwed. That the greed of some, or perhaps all of us, has led us to destroy the world we live in.
Despite all this, I realise that the only thing I take real pleasure from is to help others. Perhaps it is my childhood, my conditioning, I don’t know. But I do know that the only way I ever really feel deeply happy is when I am making like easier for another.
Now obviously this has a limit, I am not going to be a doormat. I am not an endless supply of energy. But that is the reason I wanted to be a doctor. That is the reason I wanted to be a teacher or a counselor.
For me the payoff is helping people. Little acts of kindness are just as important as large ones. I always look to see how others are feeling. What others need and want.
My job frustrates me because I want to help people but as a teacher, it sometimes feels really difficult. Because teaching doesn’t necessarily feel like help to the people receiving the education. What I am doing is facilitating them through a rite of passage. In our society, to get anywhere, you must go to school, learn about the world, about other people, learn to fit in. etc.
So for me the pay check isn’t money. The pay check is helping, or rather the acknowledgement from others when they realise that I am there to help them.